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655 



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DE WITT'S ACTING- PLAYS. 

(Nniiiber 204.) 



A. 





DRAWING-ROOM CAR 



SO;tfE INCIDENTS OF A RAILWAY JOURNEY. 



^ 



A COMEDIETTA, U OiNE ACT. 



ADAPTED PROM THE FRENCH OP 



EUGENE VERCONSIN. 



First performed at the Vaudeville Theatre, Paris, October 
21st, 1864. 



TO WHICH ABE ADDED, 

description ot the Costumes— Synopsia of the Piece -Cast ol the Characters 
—Entrances and Exits— Relative Positions of the Performers on 
the Stage, and the whole of the Stage Business. 




^1 1 u - iJ r k : 

ROBERT M. DE WITT, PUBLISHER 
L/5^'^ ■^*>* 33 Rose Street. 




Tvnw I ^° ^ COMPLETE DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE OF DE WITT'S ACTING 

^^*^ ') PLAYS, AND DE WITT'S ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMAS, cftitaining 

JtX!.dJ>T. I Plot, Costume, Scenery, Time of Representation, and every other informa- 

<• tion, mailed free and post-paid. 




Class P 5 fe 3 5 
Book .7 3 V4-S ?, 
Cofiyright N" 



COPYRIGHT DEPOSm 



DRAWING-EOOM CAR. 

SOME INCIDENTS OP A RAILWAY JOURNEY. 

A PETITE COMEDY, m O^E ACT. 



ADAPTED PROM THE FRENCH OF 

/ 
EUGENE YEECONSIN, 



FIRST PERFORMED AT THE VAUDEVILLE THEATRE, AT PARIS, 
OCTOBER 21, 1864. 



TO WHICH ARE ADDED, 

A DESCRIPTION OP THE COSTUMES — CAST OP THE CHARACTERS — EN- 
TRANCES AND EXITS — RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE PER- 
FORMERS ON THE STAGE — AND THE "WHOLE 
OF THE STAGE BUSINESS. 




NEW YORK; 
ROBERT M. DE WITT, PUBLISHER, 

No. 33 Rose Street. 

(between DUANE and FRANKFORT STREETS.) 
COPYBIOHT, 1876, BY ROBEBT M. De WlTT. 



A DKA WING-ROOM CAB, 



CHARACTERS. ^ 

ALady ^^^ ^ , kJO . 

The Conductor of the Train. 



A Gentleman Traveller > }/• 



TIME IN PLAYING-THIRTY MINIITES. 






C08TUME8— MODERN. 



TIME— THE PRESENT. 



SCENE.— The interior of a compartment of a Pullman car. This is represented 
by four arm-chairs placed as in the following diagram. On Chair No. 1 (first to 
right) an open newspaper ; on Chair No. 4 Traveller's bag, coat and hat, and 
travelling rug. 



Chair No. 3. Chair No. 4. 



■ % 



Chair No. 1. Chair No. 2. 



% 



PROPERTIES. 

Placard, on which is printed " This is ye Pullman Car" ; two travelling bags ; 
rug ; dagger paper-knife ; guide book ; cigarette paper ; tobacco pouch ; match 
safe, etc. ; small packet of photographs ; newspaper ; bell, whistle, etc. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R. means Right of Stage, facing the Audience ; L. Left ; C. Centre ; R. C. Right 
of Centre ; L. C. Left of Centre. D. F. Door in the Flat, or Scene running across 
the back of the Stage ; C. D. F. Centre Door in the Flat ; R. D. F. Right Door in 
the Flat ; L. D. F. Left Door in the Flat ; R. D. Right Door ; L. D. Left Door ; 1 
E. First Entrance ; 2 E. Second Entrance ; U. E. Upper Entrance ; 1, 2 or 3 G. 
First, Second or Third Groove. 

R. R. C. C. L.C. X,. 

The reader is supposed to be upon the Stage, facing the Audience. 



TMP92-007461 



A DRA¥IIG-ROOM CAE. 



SCENE. — TJie interior of a compartment of a Pullman car. ^ Tliis is 
represented by four arm-chairs placed as in the preceding diagram. 
On chair No. 1 {first to right), an open neicspaper ; on chair No. 
4, Traveller's bag, coat and hat, and travelling rug. 

Enter Traveller ; he explains this scene in the following 
PROLOG UK 

Traveller. Ladies and Gentlemen : The littfe play we are about 
to have the honor of performing before you is entitled " A Drawmg- 
Room Car ; or, Some Incidents of a Railway Journey." The scene we 
present to you is supposed to represent the interior of a Pullman car 
compartment, {looks round at the chairs behind him) We at first in- 
tended to have gotten up this scene with extraordinary magnificence. 
Takinc^ a hint from that famous theatrical manager, Mr. Vincent Crum- 
mies we should have presented before you, like his real Pump and Tubs, 
a real Pullman car, with a real locomotive attached. To this end we ad- 
dressed a very polite note to the management of the Baltimore and Ohio 
Railroad Company, and we have received from them a most courteous 
and aracious reply ; only it has been suggested that their smallest Pull- 
man'car would be somewhat unwieldy in even the largest drawing-room. 
And they remark that the smoke and steam from the locomotive 
mi'^ht be rather objectionable. They also sug:^est the possibility of an 
explosion which they feel in the present financial condition of affairs, 
would be'an entirely unwarrantable expense. They do not mention the 
lives of this cxoodly assembly, but place it altogether on economical 
grounds ; but I have observed these Railroad gentlemen generally look 
at that sort of thing from this point of view. 

So we have been obliged, reluctantly, to give up this grand idea. 
Sad ! very sad ! Think how beautifully it would have looked in Capi- 
tal bills for the shop windows -separate lines— Real Pump— I mean 
Pulhuan— Splendid Locomotive !-Great Attraction! And we felt en- 
tirely confident that the artistic capabilities of this Corps Dramatique 
would have been fully equal to a large wood-cut of the scene for the 
posters— showing the full depth of the stage, with the Pullman and 
locomotive in the middle. But all these grand anticipations had to be 
abandoned We reflected, however, that in the present period of un- 
usual antiquarian interests how could we do better than to get up a 
scene a la 1620— like the good old Colonial Times. We have now, 
therefore, the honor to present to you the interior of a Pullman car as 



4 A DRAWING-ROOM CAR. 

Shakespeare {here a placard on wldcli is printed " This is ye Pull- 
man Car," is displayed at hack) would certainly have represented it. 
{points to placard.) 

" But pardon, gentles, all, 
The flat, upraised spirit that hath dared 
On this unworthy scaffold to bring forth 

So great an object 

Piece out our imperfections with your thoughts ; 

Think, when we talk of engines, that you see them 

With their revolving wheels pounding the bending rail ; {noise 

of hell, wldstle, and escaping steam is Jieard here) 
Hear the train rattle — {a slight pause and noise of moving train 

Jieard )* Still be kind, 
And eke out our performance with your mind," 

I am supposed to have come on during the night from Portsmouth, and 
to have taken this car at Boston ; it has been ferried round New York 
by the new arrangement, and is now fast approaching Philadelphia. I 
am at this moment asleep — permit me to be so. {he hoios to the audi- 
ence, seats himself in the front chair on the left of stage {No. 2), tcraps 
the travelling rug around him and goes to sleep. The noise of the 
train, which has continued, slowly stops, the engine hell is heard, and 
noise of feet. A door is heard to open, after which, voice of Conduc- 
tor.) 

Voice op Conductor. Philadelphia ! Five minutes rest here. 

Trav. {asleep, wakes up). No! If your honor please, we don't rest 
here, {opens his eyes, sits up and looks round hewildered ) Oh, I 
thought I was still in court, {looks at loatch) What o'clock is it ? Five 
in the morning ! Why, I've slept nearly all night. I didn't even know 
when my neighbor went out. {sees neicspaper on opposite chair) Ah, 
he has left his newspaper, {takes it up) Not a very trouhlesome sort of 
fellow — he only opened his mouth to stuff it full of cake, {turns pa- 
per, crumbs fall out) Oh, this paper was his lunch basket. 

Voice of Cond. Philadelphia ! Five minutes for refreshments ! 

Trav. {lays doicn paper). Hum ! I'll go and try to find something 
to eat. {rises, and leaves his things on his chair, l. c, No. 2) Conduc- 
tor ! Conductor ! Where's the refreshment room ^ 

Voice of Cond. This way, sir ! [Exit Traveller. 

Lady enters, with three or four hundles, hags, etc., stops, looks round 
the car. 

Lady (solus). On the whole — I think I'll take tliis instead of the 
ladies' car. That's very crowded, and I'll have no place to put my bun- 
dles — and the " ladies " are not apt to be very accommodating to each 
other. But here. What chair shall I take 7 [looks at Traveller's) 
That one isn't backwards, and is more out of the way of people going 
in and out than t/ds. {points to another ; while talking she j)uts Tu\- 
yeljjEr's luggage on front chair, right, No. 1) To an old traveller all 
these little matters are easily arranged, [sits in Traveller's chair) 
There ! that's all right. (Traveller heard outside) Somebody's com- 

* For the benefit of amateurs the editor would suggest that the train noise is 
readily simulated by aid of an iron dumb-bell rolled on loose iron on top of a stone. 
The escaping steam, by sugar (granulated) or coarse sand poured from one stiff 
paper bag to another. 



A DRAWING-ROOM CAR. 5 

ing ! I must go to sleep, {wraps herself, covering her face and feigns 
to sleep ^ 

Trav ( enters, stamping his feet). Ah, now I feel better ! {comes down 
front) Oh ! Why, ni}' seat is taken — and my traps are moved ! Par- 
don, madam ! Why, she's asleep ! She has gone to sleep very quickly, 
considering she has been here only five minutes. Ah, well ! it's not 
quite polite to make a lady change her seat— I must take another chair. 
{sits with his hack to Lady, on chair No. 3, second one right.) 

Lady {aside, showing her face). I said these little matters would 
come out all right, {re-covers her face— jmuse. 'Y^xnki.l^b. restless.) 

Trav. I was better off in my own place ! and I'm not likely to find 
another chair with so good a back — that one was comfortable as could 
be ; and this is a perfect back of torture ! Yes ! Ladies are certainly 
very inconsiderate — they know their power and abuse it — the charming 
egotists. Now, if my neiglibor was only young — and pretty. But she 
Avouldn't bundle herself up so if she was young — {gapes) and pretty. 
(Traveller ^otf.S' <o sleciJ. Voice of Conductor heard, " All aboard ! 
All aboard !" Bdl — noise of train starting, slow, then faster. The 
train 7ioise continues from this point — if possible it should be muffled 
by an intervening door, which open and shut occasionally, gives a stick- 
ing reality to the sound. ) 

Lady {uncovers Iter face). So ! I am to travel alone with this gen- 
tleman ? {she looks at Traveller) He doesn't seem at all offensive. 
(Tfaveller snores) His conversation is certainly not briUiant — but 
then at least he is not presuming. (Traveller snores loude?') He re- 
minds me a good deal of the theatrical thunder. Well — [someichat an- 
noyed ) I may as well try to go to sleep too. (Traveller snores again 
— lays back her head) I'll leave it to him to begin conversation, {wraps 
herself up again, this time leaving her face uncovered — pause.) 

Trav. {icakes, moves about uneasily; crossly, aside). Really can't 
stand this ciiair. I ought to have demanded my seat. But perhaps 
she is young — and pretty 1 {turns round and sees her face) By Jove! 
She is though 1 And here I have been sleeping before her like a per- 
fect boar ! Well, it's lucky I never snore, {takes off his cap, arranges 
hair, pulls down his cuffs, etc.) She persists in sleeping — if she is asleep. 
When one is really asleep one hasn't such a pleasant expression — far 
from it I must have cut a pretty figure just now, myself, {coughs. 
Lady moves) She's waked up ! {very loud ) What a beautiful country ! 
These meadows are very green. (Lady silent) Nothing? (Lady opens 
her eyes) These green are ver)^ meadow, (aside) Fool ! 

Lady. Pardon, sir 1 

Trav. 0!i ! I was saying that the foliage was getting to be magnifi- 
cient. {pause — at a loss for something to say) The harvest will be 
very abundant this year, {he looks out towards the audience.) 

Lady Pardon, sir! I thought you were speaking tome! (aside) 
He's an agriculturist ! (Lady shuts her eyes.) 

Trav. {aside). Certainly I icas speaking to her ! My exclamation 
was only a ruse — a bridge which I thi ew over the silence between us. 
{crossly) If she is going to sleep again I'm going to smoke, {takes out 
smoking materials and makes cigarette) I can't light my cigarettes 
without asking permission, (coughs. XjKdx opens her eyes) Do you ob- 
ject to smoking, madam ? 

Lady {shortly). Very much, sir. (shuts her eyes and turnn head.) 

Trav. Well, I must say she shuts down on conversation. She's like 
these bank clerks who clap to their little glass doors when the public 
trouble them. I am the public, and I trouble her. (puts up smoking 



6 A DllAWING-KOOM OAK, 

materials) This lady is not amiable. She is not at all amiablQ ! {turns 
his hack and tries to go to sleep.) 

Lady. I must say he puts away all his little smoking apparatus with 
a very good grace, (^sees neicspaper) Some one's forgotten his paper. 
{takes it up, reads) "The attitude of the Foreign Powers" — pass over 
that. "General Intelligence." " Somebody writes from Portsmouth." 
'• Wagner, the ruffian who so brutally murdered the defenceless woman 
at the Isle of Shoals, escaped from prison yesterday. He is regarded 
as the worst criminal ever conJSned here. It is thought that he has 
gone to Washington." — To Washington ! Ah ! ah ! if he should be 
in this train ! {reads) " This dangerous criminal is easily recognized by 
the following description: He is somewhat below the medium height 
and slightly built ; ho is beginning to be bald, and has a scar on the 
right side of his forehead." (Traveller hastily puts on cap) How 
quickly he puts on his cap ! Oh ! I'm very silly I {reads in a low 
tone.) 

Trav. {aside). I can't close my eyes. There's nothing for me to do 
but to read my guide-book, {opens book — reads) " Bellair, The elder 
Booth formerly had a residence here. The tragedian loved this retreat. 
In the moments of leisure, which Melpomene left him, he loved to bear 
the spade of an amateur farmer in the same hand which bore with such 
an air the sceptre of Richard III., the sword of Macbeth, and the dag- 
ger of Othello " — {sudden shock to the car) What a shock ! 

Lady {starting up). What is the matter 1 

Trav. Nothing, madam, but a slight concussion. 

Lady. Can you tell me where we are, sir 1 

Trav. We are near Be'lair — {glihUy) Bellair. The elder Booth for- 
merly had a residence here. The tragedian loved this retreat,. In tlio 
moments of leisure which Melpomene left him — {glances at hook) ho 
loved to bear the spade of an amateur farmer in that same hand which 
bore with such an air the sceptre of Richard III., the sword of Mac- 
beth, and the dagger of Othello, {stops, out ofhreatli) Pray, relief! 

Lady {aside). He certainly wishes to talk, {aloud) I thank you for 
those interesting facts, sir. 

Tuav. {modestly). Not at all, madam. 

Lady {aside). He is a young Professor ! I like him better. 

Trav. Madam, the sun begins to trouble me considerably, and if you 
have no objection I will take this place? {he points to arm-chair di- 
rectly opposite to her.) 

Lady. I could not object, sir, since I believe I have taken yours, 
which appears to be the best one. 

Trav. You have only anticipated my offering it to you. 

Lady {bowing). Sir! 

Tuav. (bows). Madam! {moves his things frojn chair and sits oppo- 
site her.) 

Lady {aside). He's very nice, and my suspicions are quite un- 
founded. 

Trav. {aside). Her front face is even prettier than her profile. 
{aloud) How I wish we were going to San Francis 

Lady. What did you s:»y, sir? 

Trav. I say, madam, that the journey is too short to-day. Oh, for 
the time when the wife of one of our first ancestors rode through miles 
and miles of forests to Washington. " Here and there a little clearing 
and a scattered cot or two — the ])ath at times almost undistinguishable." 

Lady {lavghing). Of whom are you talking, sir 1 

Trav. Of 5lis John Adams, whoso most intei-esting lettois I liave 
just been reading. What a delightlnl journe}' she made, njadam, in 



A DRAWING-ROOM CAR. 7 

going to take up her abode in the then iieio White House, which she 
tells us — you remember? — '"was surrounded with forests! And the 
great unfinished audience room," — the present East Room — "we 
make," she says, " a drying room of for the clotnes of the family." 

Lady. Undoubtedly ! the methods of travel have been greatly im- 
proved since Mrs. Adams' day. 

Trav. But without going back so far, 1 cannot but regret the good 
old days of the stage-coach. 

Lady. Do you really mean iti You're jesting? 

Trav. Jesting ? Most certainly I do mean it. It took a week to go 
from Philadelphia to Washington for instance. 

Lady. Oh ! but how frightfully tedious! 

Trav. It was charming, madam ! One had at least the pleasure of 
becoming acquainted with his travelling companions, of laying the 
foundations of some delightful friendships. Then there was the poetry 
of adventure which bioke the monotony of the journey. 

Lady {laughing). Do you regret the attacks of the highwaymen ? 

Trav. Ah ! Higliway robbery, madam, although certainly deplora- 
ble, in a legal point of view, can have its good side. 

Lady. For example? 

TiiAv. For example ? The attacks of the liighwayinan could give 
occasion for acts of courage and heroism ; [lookn ami digJitly boics to 
Lady) whilst now, madam, life is so protected, so guaranteed, in fact 
— so hum-drum — that unless one is a soldier or a sailor — or a fiiem;in 
— I forgot the firemen — the least act of heroism is absolutely iirerdict- 
ed — as romantic and Quixotic. 

Lady. Ah, yes ! Looking at it from a romantic point of view, wc 
misht, indeed, regret not having lived an hundred yoars a-^o or so. 
{slight X)ause) I remember an adventure which happened to me some 
five or six years ago, when I was travelling with — [site gives a little 
sigh and looks down) my husband. 

Trav. {starts, exclaiming). Your husband ! You are married, 
madam ? 

Lady {gives a slight sigh). Alas, sir 

Trav. i his face brightens, he moves Jiis chair nearer the Lady's ; in 
a sym'pathetic tone) Ah ! But, my dear madam, you are not the only 
person to whom marriage hasi)roven a hard trial. 

Lady. But, sir 

Trav. {interrupting). The number of libels for divorce has increased 
alarmingly this year. 

Lady. But, sir, you are completely mistaken. I was saying — Alas! 
I am a widow ! {looks down.) 

Trav. {much confused ). Ah ! oh ! Pardon me, madam ! I thought 
— Oh 1 I beg a thousand i)ardons. {aside) She's a widow, {a slight 
pause. Traveller collects himself. Here bell heard, and noise of 
train slows approaching station) You were saying, madam, you had 
an accident happen to you while travelling. 

Voice of Cond. {a door heard to open). Bellair! Tickets, gentle- 
men : tickets ! {train stojjs— noise of feet on platform.) 

Trav. How disgusting! It is only half an hour since we w(jre dis- 
turbed before. I must say the red tape of these Railroad managers is 
unbearable ! 

Lady {laughing). You certainly were not troubled with tickets to 
take care of in your glorious old stage-coaching days. 

Trav. Another of their advantages, {he fumbles in iwckct) Can I 
have lost mine ? I can't find it. 

Lady. May it not have fallen down ? {she looks on floor for it.) 



8 A DBAWING-KOOM CAR. 

Trav. Pray, don't trouble j-onrself about it. I must — {looks again) 
have lost it, t will go and speak to the conductor, {rises, bows to Lady) 
Pardon, madam i [Exits. 

Lady. Poor fellow ! Now he has gone to berate the conductor. He 
will have to pay double fare — so much the more as the train conies 
from such a distance, {she looks at tlie audience as if she were looking 
out after him) I do not see him coming back. 

Enter Conductor, hriskly. 

CoND. Ticket, ma'am ! Ticket ! 

Lady. Here it is. (Conductor punches and returns it — sees Travel- 
ler's Inggnge.) 

CoND. Where's the other passenger"? 

Lady. He has just gone out. 

Trav. Ah ! it's no use trying to manage these passengers. They loill 
get out at all the stations. 

Lady. The gentleman thought he had lost his ticket. 

CoND. {quickly). Says he's lost his ticket? Is he travelling with you, 
marm 1 

Lady. He is travelling in the same compartment ; but I don't know 
him. 

CoND. Ah ! you don't know him 7 {looks susjnciously at Travel- 
ler's bag.) 

Lady. What are you looking af? 

CoND I'm looking at the name on his carpet-bag. You must know 
it is part of our duty to keep an eye on the passengers. The Boss 
Tweed has not yet been found. 

Lady {alarmed ). What do you mean 1 

CoND. I don't wfffvi anything ; but yesterday a jail-bird was cau<iht 
on this train. (Lady, very much frightened^ rises and grabs vj^ ^^^r 
bundles) What are you doing, marni 1 

Lady {quickly). Sir! I want to get out of this car and get into the 
ladies' car. 

Cond. You can't, marm. It's full. 

Lady. Then I'll take another. 

Cond. Just as you please marm. (Conductor turns to go out.) 

Lady. Oh. Heavens ! If this should be that Wagner ! {sees Co.nduc- 
TOR going) Oh, he's leaving me alone ! Conductor! Cond 

Cond. Can't! must take up the other fares, n)arni. 

\Ea:it Conductor. 

Lady {cdone, crying). But, sir! Oh, how foolish lam! {.site sits 
doicn again) Why should I think that this gentleman, who appears 
very nicely — who knoics tlie Adamses — can be that horiid criminal ! 
{smiles at herself, and settles herself in the chair. She sees the Tra- 
veller'- paper knife) Tluit's a strange thing he uses to cut the leaves 
with, {takes it up and exa7niues it) It is a dagger — a murderous wea- 
pon. It is not a paper knife, {frightened again) Nobody uses such a 
thing as that to cut paper with. Certainly it is— my imagination runs 
away with me — the paper knife is tinique, that's all. {lays it doion and 
takes seat.) 

Voice of Cond. All aboard ! All aboard! 

Trav. {re-enters). I have found my ticket, {takes his place again. 
Bell rings. Noise of train starting slow, then faster) Just think, 
madam, it was hidden in the lining of my pocket. 

Lady. How glad I am. {aside) He had his ticket! 

Trav. {surprised, aside). Why ! {aloud ) Thank you, madam ! 



A DRAWING-EOOM CAB. 9 

Lady (aside). If I could make hira take off his cap I should be quite 
sure. 

Trav. It is very kind of you to be so interested in your neighbor's 
misfortunes. 

Lady. Is it not natural 1 (aside) Oh ! (bites her lip, a little confused.) 

Trav. Natural — on your part — because 

Lady (interrupting). Pardon, sir ! isn't somebody bowing to you 
out there 1 (sJie points toicards audience.) 

Trav. (putting his hand to his cap). Where ? 

Lady (aside). He is going to take it off. (aloud) Down there! 

Trw. (taking down his hand, and not taking off his hat). No, ma- 
dam, no ; it is not to me ! 

Lady (aside) Failed! 

Trav. I was saying — very natural, because — you are so amiable. 

Lady. Sir ! 

Trav. I am sure of it. And have you not shown it to me by your 
kind exclamation 1 should have guessed it from your face — an open 
book where men may read all charming qualities. 

Lady (astonished ). Sir ! 

Trav. And this ungloved hand no less characteristic. 

Lady {rather offetided). What do you mean 7 

Trav. (smiling). That I know a little of the science of physical ex- 
pression, ix la Delsarte ; and only a single glance at these slender and 
delicate fingers — (Lady astonished and offended draws hack her hand) 
from this line of life, so long and clear, which shows your kind-hearted- 
ness, I should know that you had a most amiable nature. 

Lady (aside). Good gracious ! Does he mean to make love to me 
already ? 

Trav. Your line of chance is quite as good. But permit me. (Lady 
mortified, gives him her hand ; taking and examining it) Ah ! but no ! 

Lady. WelH 

Trav. I see there 

Lady (aside, frightened ) How he looks at my ring ! 

Trav. I see there a sudden — a crossing, threatening point. 

Lady (uneasily). Ah I 

Trav. Ah, but you told me you once were in great peril. 

Lady. Yes, sir ! We were attacked by brigands in crossing the Pyra- 
nees, 

Trav. That's it ! That peril is passed, and here the line takes up its 
course again more clear and well defined than before. 

Lady (half reassured — looking doubtfully at her hand ). Ah ! You 
do not see any new intersection — any other bad point '? 

Trav. Not the least, madam. 

Lady (tcithdraws her hand, smiling). So you really believe in Chiro- 
mancy — Phrenology — what do I want to say 1 

Trav. (seriously). Certainly ! (slight pause) Have you ever examin- 
ed the head of a criminal 1 

Lady (astonished and frightened). Heavens! 

Trav. (smiling). But first — Did you ever happen to see a criminaH 

Lady (looking round, frightened). Never, sir ! But believe me, I 
am more inclined to pity than condemn them poor unfortunates I 

Trav. I see again that line of kind-heartedness. 

Lady. Are not their want of education, the bad examples set them 
in their childhood, often responsible for the crimes they commit, and 
which lead them to the — ihe— (shudders.) 

Trav. Say the word ! To the gallows. I have here a collection of 



10 A DRAWING-ROOM CAR. 

photographs of our most noted criminals, (takes out of his breast j)Ocket 
a package of photographs.) 

liADY. All! You have ! 

Trav. Ver}' curious types to study. 

Lady (aside). How does he happen to have such things? 

Trav. And first — here is — (draws out a pictureto show to Lady) Ah, 
no! I am mistaken. That one is ray own picture ! 

Lady (frightened ). Yours 1 

Trav. Yes, madam! {smiling) but it is not part of the collection. 
(takes another) Here is the one I meant to show you. 

Lady (politely). Who is this man? 

Trav. It is Pemberton, who murdered the defenceless woman at East 
Boston, you know. 

Lady (quickly). Yes, I know. 

Trav. (shows another). Here is La Page, who murdered all those 
young women in New Hampshire. Pray look at the protuberance on 
this part of his head, (in an interested and animated manner) A sign 
of the instinct of destructiveness. Now, he had a. passion for murder. 

Lady. How his eyes sparkle while he talks ! 

Trav. (.showing another). Here is Pomeroy. The same conforma- 
tion of head; same instinct c>i ferocity. He has murdered fourteen 
children — fourteen poor little children, not counting those we don't 
know about. 

Lady. Not counting — (bewildered ) But excuse me, you have not 
told me by what chance you came by all these pictures. 

Thav. Oh. that is very simple ! First 1 must tell you that through 
my position I am frequently in prisons. 

Lady (horribly frightened ). What I You are frequently — (Lady 
shudders.) 

Tuav. Yes, madam ; since I am — What is the matter'? you shiver — 
are you cold 7 

Lady {sJiuddering). Not — at — at — all, sir — I am very icarm. 

TiiAv. You shiver in saying it. Pray take my travelling-rug. (lie 
rises to wrap rug round her ) 

Lady {in a faint voice). Thank you, sir. 

Trav. Not at all ! (he puts it over her feet) The mornings are still 
very chilly. 

Lady. But you — you'll be cold, sir! 

Trav. (interrupting). Pray, don't trouble yourself about me. 

Lady. Especially, since you have probably passed the night on the 
train. 

Trav. I have, madam, for I came from Portsmouth. 

Lady (aside). Portsmouth I No doubt! 

Trav. A bad place to live in ! But I have been shut up there for 
five years. 

Lady. He says — Shut up I 

Trav. (smiling, quietly). Imprisoned I 

Lady. Ah ! (terrified.) 

Trav. By my cursed profession. 

Lady (aside). He calls it a profession ! Good Heavens ! 

Trav. But happily, the officers of justice can't keep me there for- 
ever 

Lady {iises, frantically). Slo[) ! 

Trav. [astonished ). Excuse me ! 

Lady. 1 know who you are! (^nillsout her purse and watcJi, and 
thrusts them at him) Take my purse ! Take all that belongs to me, 
Mr. Wagner, but leave me my life ! 



A DKAWING-liOOM CAK. 11 

Trav. Life ! Wagner ! What are you talking about ? 

Lady ( goes on her knees). Mercy, sir ! Mercy ! 

Trav. But you are making a frightful mistake. I am not — {solemnly) 
It is my daily business to prosecute, and bring these criminals to justice, 
madam ! 

Lady. What do you say 1 {confounded, and somewhat relieved, she 
rises. ) 

Trav. {rises). It was I who was the cause of this Wagner being con- 
demned ; with whom you do me the honor to confound me ! {lifts his 
cap and botes to Lady.) 

Lady {looking at his forehead). The scar is not there! {greatly 
relieved. ) 

Trav. But tell me, what has put murderers and criminals into your 
head? 

Lady {rather indignant). What, sir ^ You have talked of nothing 
else for the last half hour ! 

Trav. But it was you who first spoke of them. 

Lady. Haven't you said you have been in prison ? 

Trav. Naturally ; in the course of my professional duties. 

Lady. That you came from Portsmouth ! 

Trav. {puzzled). The place I have just left. 

Lady. And those photographs ? 

Trav. They were for identification, madam. 

Lady. Ah ! I understand now ! {sits down) I see my folly, and can 
accuse only this paper, the first cause of my absurd terror, {she picks 
up the newspaper., Traveller rewraps her in his rug and seats him- 
self.) 

Trav. What paper? {ichistU sounds.) 

Lady {handing him the neicspaper). Read, sir ! There ! 

Trav. [reads). " Somebody writes from Portsmouth." {reads loio, to 
himself. Looks up, smiling) But this is an old story, since Wagner has 
been retaken, and was executed more than a year ago. {he looks at date 
of paper) This is last year's paper, madam, {train slows — hell heard,) 

Lady. What do you say % 

Trav. January, 1875. See! 

Lady. 1875 1 It is so ! What will you think of me sir 7 {noise of a 
door opening. ) 

Voice of Cond. Washington ! Washington ! 

Trav. {rises, and takes out his card-case — gallantly). Madam, I am 
to stay some time in Washington. Allow me to have the pleasure of 
calling on you. {he hands her his card, bowing) I shall hope to be able 
to establish my identity in your eyes, and completely reassure you. {he 
carefully removes his rug from the Lady.) 

Lady {rises). Certainly, sir; with pleasure. Let me give you in re- 
turn my address, {hands him her card, loith emotion, in a tremulous 
voice) Oh! But I am so glad you are not a criminal ! (Conductou j)uts 
in his head and calls, " Washington !" The Traveller Jiere comes for- 
icard and begins the Epilogue.) 

EPILOG UE. 

Trav. {speaks, boioing) Ladies and Gentlemen. — At this point, had 
our brilliant anticipations and Intentions been realized, the scene would 
have instantly changed; you would have seen the real Pullman and 
locomotive roll slowly into the Washington station. I should have had 
the honor of handing out my charming travelling companion — {bowing 
to Lady) and you would have seen me having the happiness to brave, 



12 A DRAWING-ROOM CAR. 

in her behalf, any number of baggage-smashers and haekmen — unhap- 
pily, all tlie heroism our modern travel allows — and while we rolled 
away down a grand perspective view of Washington — showing the Capi- 
tol and grounds in the distance — the locomotive would have slowly 
backed out of the station. The icJiole to liace concluded with a grand 
transformation scene, to slow music — Superb — Sentimental — Historical 
— and Patriotic. At the right, Mrs. John Adams, going to Washing- 
ton, in her glorious old stage-coach, surrounded with appropriate Con- 
tinental emblems At the left, our real Pullman car and locomotive 
elegantly grouped with arts and manafactures of to-day. The whole sur- 
mounted with a colossal statue of America, goddesslike, and erect upon 
an immense globe showing the Western Hemisphere ; which cracking 
open, displays a " bank where the wild thyme blows," whereon grace- 
fully recline your faithful servants, {bowing to audience) surrounded by 
smiling Cupids and the Golden Hours — Sweet — Suggestive — Centennial. 
But are we not now personating to you a Shakesperian scene. There- 
fore : 

" In your supposing put once more your sig'it, 
Of that grand station think you thjs the arc ; 

Where what is done in action, more, if might. 

Should be discovered. Please you, sit, and hark !" 

Great noise outside — Engine hell—Steam — Feet moviiig — baggage turn- 
bled, etc., etc. Cries heard: "Hack, sir!" "Hack, madam!" 
"Baggage Express!" ''Hack! Hack!" " Ebbitt House!" "Wil- 
lard's !" "Metropolitan!" "National!" etc., etc. Train heard 
backing out of the station. Silence — Lady steps forward. 

Lady (speaks at front). 

Heave us away upon your winged thoughts. 
Thus with imagined wing our swift scene flies 
In motion of no less celerity. Suppose that you have seen 
Us both upon that well-appointed, bright scene, {she steps back and 
gives her hand to the Gentleman. Slight pause, during 
which the slow music is heard behind. Continues smiling) 
So in your bright imaginations we're content 
To leave all these ; although not done, but meant. 
And on your patience ever more attending. 
New joy wait on you! Here, our play has ending. 

[Both bow to audience and exeunt. 

CURTAIN. 



DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS (Continued). 



No. 
144. 

34. 
137. 
111. 
119. 
165. 

48. 

32. 
164. 
109. 

85. 

87. 
•143. 
189. 
163. 
154. 

63. 

39. 
7. 

49. 

15. 

46. 

51. 
184. 
108. 
188. 
169. 
130. 

92. 
193. 

140. 

115. 
2. 
57. 
104. 
112. 
185. 
• 84. 
117. 

171. 
14. 

173. 
176. 
90. 
170. 



97. 
66. 

172. 
94. 

45. 
1.55. 

178. 

147. 
158. 

82. 

12 r. 

23. 



Lancashire Lass, melodrama, 5 acts.l2 3 
Larkins' Love Letters, farce, 1 act.. 3 2 

L' Article 47, drama, 3 acts 11 5 

Liar (The), comedy, 2 acts 7 2 

Life Chase, drama, 5 acts 14 5 

Living Statue (The), farce, 1 act 3 2 

Little Annie's Birthday, farce, 1 act. 2 4 

Little Rebel, farce, 1 act 4 3 

Little liuby, drama, 3 acts 6 6 

Locked In, comedietta, 1 act 2 2 

Locked Tn with a Lady, sketch, 1 act. 1 1 

Locked Out, comic scene 1 2 

Lodgers and Dodgers, farce, 1 act.. 4 2 
Leap Year, musical duality, 1 act. . . 1 1 

Marcoretti , drama, 3 acts 10 3 

Maria and Magdalena, rlay, 4 acts . 8 6 
Marriage at Any Price, farce, 1 act. 5 3 
Master Jones' Birthday, farce, 1 act. 4 2 

Maud's Peril, drama, 4 acts 5 3 

Midnight Watch, drama, 1 act 8 2 

Milky White, drama, 2 acts 4 2 

Miriam's Crime, drama, 3 acts 5 2 

Model of a Wife, farce, 1 act 3 2 

Money, comedy, 5 acts 17 3 

Mr. Scroggins, farce, 1 act 3 

Mr. X., farce, 1 act 3 

My Uncle's Suit, farce, 1 act 4 

My Wife's Diary, farce, 1 act 3 

My Wife's Out, farce, 1 act 2 

My Walking Photograph, musical 

duality, 1 act 1 

Never Keckon Your Chickens, etc., 

farce, 1 act 3 

New Men and Old Acres, comedy, 3 8 

Nobody's Child, drama, 3 acts 8 

Noemie, drama, 2 acts 4 

No Name, drama, 5 acts 7 

Not a Bit Jealous, farce, 1 act 3 

Not So Bad as We Seem, play, 5 acts. 14 

Not Guilty, drama, 4 acts 10 

Not Such a Fool as He Looks, drama, 

3 acts 5 

No hing Like Paste, farce, 1 act 3 

No Thoroughfare, drama, 5 acts and 

prologue 13 

Off the Stage, comedietta, 1 act 3 

On Bread and Water, farce, 1 act. . . 1 

Only a h alf penny, farce, 1 act 2 

Only Somebody, farce, 1 act 4 

One too Many for Him, farce, 1 act. 2 

£100,000, comedy, 3 acts 8 

Orange Blossoms, comedietta, 1 act. 3 
Orange Girl, drama, in prologue 

and 3 acts 18 4 

Ours, comedy, 3 acts 6 3 

Our Clerks, farce, 1 act 7 5 

Our Domestics, Rjomedy farce, 2 acts 6 6 
Our Heroes, military play. 5 acts. . .24 5 
Out at Sea, drama in prologue and 

4 acts 16 5 

Overland Route, comedy, 3 acts 11 5 

Peace at Any Price, farce, 1 act 1 1 

Peep o' Day, drama, 4 acts 12 4 

Peggy Green, fane, 1 act 3 10 

Petticoat Parliament, extravaganza, 

in one act 15 24 

Photographic Fix, farce, 1 act 3 2 

A COMPLETE 



No. M. p. 

61. Plot and Passion, drama, 3 acts 7 2 

138. Poll and Partner Joe, burlesque, 1 

act 10 3 

110. Poppleton's Predicaments, farce, 13 6 

50. Porter's Knot, drama, 2 acts 8 2 

59. Post Boy, drama, 2 acts 5 3 

95. Pretty Horse-Breaker, farce, lact.. 3 10 

181 and 182. Queen Mary, drama, 4 act8.38 8 

157. Quite at Home, comedietta, 1 act. . . 5 2 
196. Queerest Courtship (The), comic op 

eretta, 1 act 1 1 

132. Race for a Dinner, farce, 1 act 10 

183. Richelieu, play, 5 acts 16 2 

38. Rightful Heir, drama, 5 acts 10 2 

77. Roll of the Drum, drama, 3 acts 8 4 

13. Ruy Bias, drama, 4 acts 12 4 

194. Rum, drama, 3 acts 7 4 

195. Rosemi Shell, travesty, 1 act, 4 

scenes 6 3 

158. School, comedy, 4 acts 6 6 

79. Sheep in Wolf's Clothing, drama, 17 5 

37. Silent Protector, farce, 1 act 3 2 

35. Silent Woman, farce, 1 act 2 1 

43. Sisterly Service, comedietta, 1 act . . 7 2 

6. Six Months Ago, comedietta, 1 act. 2 1 

10. Snapping Turtles, duologue, 1 act. . 1 1 

26. Society, comedy, 3 acts 16 5 



Special Performances, farce, 1 act. . 

31. Taming a Tiger, farce. 1 act 

1.50. Tell-Tale Heart, comedietta, 1 act. . 
120. Tempest in a Teapot, comedy, 1 act. 
146. There's no Smoke Without Fire, 

comedietta, 1 act 

Thrice Married, personation piece, 

1 act 

Time and the Hour, drama, 3 acts . . 
Time and Tide, drama, 3 acts and 

prologue 7 

Timothy to the Rescue, farce, 1 act. 4 
'Tis Better to Live than to Die, 

farce, 1 act 2 

Tompkins the Troubadour, farce, 1 3 

29. Turning the Tables, farce, 1 act 5 

168. Tweedie's Rights, comedy, 2 acts.. 4 

126. Twice Killed, farce, 1 act 6 

56. Two Gay Deceivers, farce, 1 act 3 

123 



83. 



133. 
153. 



134. 



2 1 
1 2 



7 3 

7 5 
2 

1 
2 
3 
2 



Two Polts, farce, 1 act 4 

Twin Sisters (The), comic operetta, 

lact 3 1 

Uncle's Will, comedietta, 1 act 2 1 

Up for the Cattle Show, farce, 1 act. 6 2 

Vandyke Brown, farce, 1 act 3 3 

Volunteer Review, farce, 1 act 6 6 

91. Walpole, comedy, 3 acts 7 2 

118. Wanted, a Young Lady, farce, 1 act. -3 

44. War to the Knife, comedy, 3 acts. . . 5 4 

105. Which ofthe Two? comedietta, lact 2 10 

98. Who is Who? farce, 1 act 3 2 

12. Widow Hunt, comedy, 3 acts 4 4 

5. William Tell with a Vengeance, 

burlesque 8 2 

Woman in Red, drama, 3 acts and 

prologue 6 

Woman's Vows and Mason's Oaths, 

4acts 10 4 

Woodcock's Little Game, farce, 2 4 4 

54. Young Collegian (Cantab.), farce, 13 3 

DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE 



198. 

162. 
106. 
81. 
124. 



136. 
161. 



11. 



■^^^j.M^ of DE WITT^S ACTING PLAYS AND PE WITT'S 
ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMAS , containing Plot, Costume, Scenery, 
Time of Representation and every other information, mailed free and post paid. Address, 
ROBERT M. D£ WITT, 33 Rose Street, New York. 



DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS, 



jp^° Please notice that nearly all the Comedies, Farces and Comediettas in the following 
hst o/"De Witt's Acting Plats" ai^e very suitable for representation in small Amateur Thea- 
tres "and on Parlor Stages, as they need but little extHnsic aid from com^Mcated scenery or 
expensive costumes. They have attabied their deserved popularity by their droll situations^ 
excellent i)lots, great humor and brilliant dialogues, no less than by the fact that they are the 
most perfect in every resjject of any edition of 2)lays ever published either in the United States 
or Europe, whether as regards puHty of the text, accuracy and fulness of stage directions and 
scenei'y, or elegance of typography and clearness of printing. 

*** In ordering please copy the figures at the commencement of each piece, which indicate 
the number of the piece in " De Witt's List op Acting Plats." 

'^^ Any of the following Plays sent, postage free, on receipt of price — 15 
cents each. 

Address, ROBERT M. DE WITT, 

JTo. 33 nose Street, JTetf Tork, 
J^~ The figure following the name of the Play denotes the number of 
Acts. The figures in the columns indicate the number of characters — M. wa^e; 
F. female. 

No. M. F. 1 No. 



75. Adrienne, drama, 3 acts < 

114. Anything for a Change, coQiedy, 13 3 

167. Apple Blossoms, comedy, 3 acts 7 3 

93. Area Belle (The), farce, 1 act 3 2 

40. Atchi, comedietta, 1 act ... 3 2 

89. Aimt Charlotte's Maid, farce. 1 act.. 3 3 

192. Game of Cards (A), cimiedietta, 13 1 

166. Bardell vs. Pickwick, sketch, 1 act. 6 2 

41. Beautiful Forever, farce, 1 act 2 3 

141. Bells (The), drama, 3 acts 9 3 

67. Birthplace of Podgers, farce, 1 act.. 7 3 
36. Black Sheep, drama, 3 acts 7 5 

160. Blow for Blow, drama, 4 acts 11 6 

70. Bonnie Fish Wife, farce, 1 act 3 1 

179. Breach of Promise,, drama, 2 acts.. 5 2 

25. Broken-IIearted Club, comedietta, 14 8 

24. Cabman, No. 93, farce, 1 act 2 2 

1. Caste, comedy, 3 acts 5 3 

69. Cauo;ht by the Cuff, farce, 1 act 4 1 

175. Cast upon the World, drama, 5acts.l0 5 
55. Catharine Howard, historical play, 

3 acts 12 5 

80. Charming pair, farce, 1 act 4 3 

65. Checkmate, comedy, 2 acts 6 5 

68. Chevalier de St. George, drama, 3 9 3 

76. Chops of the Channel, farce, 1 act. 3 2 

149. Clouds, comedy, 4 acts 8 7 

121. Comical Countess, farce, 1 act 3 1 

107. Cupboard Love, farce, 1 act 2 1 

152. Cupid's Eye-Glass, comedy, 1 act... 1 1 

52. Cup of Tea, comedietta, 1 act 3 1 

148. Cut off with a Shilling, comedietta, 

1 act 2 1 

113. Cyrill's Success, comedy, 5 acts 10 4 

199. Captain of the Watch (The), come- 
dietta, 1 act 4 2 

20. Daddy Gray, drama, 3 acts 8 4 

4. Dandelion's Dodges, farce, 1 act 4 2 

22. David Garrick, comedy, 3 acts 8 3 

96. Dearest Mamma, comedietta, 1 act, 4 3 

16. Dearer than Life, drama, 3 acts — 6 5 

58. Deborah (Leah) drama, 3 acts 7 6 

125. Deerfoot, farce, 1 act 5 1 

71. Doing for the Best, drama, 2 acts. . 5 3 

142. Dollars and Cents, comedy, 3 acts. . 9 4 



M. F. 

21. Dreams, drama, 5 acts 6 3 

186. Duchess de la Vallipre, play, 5 acts. . 6 4 

47. Easy Shaving, farce, 1 act 5 2 

13 '. Everybody's Friend, comedy, 3 acts. 6 5 

200. Estranged, an operetta, 1 act 2 1 

103. Faust and Marguerite, drama, 3 acts, 9 7 
9. Fearful Tragedy in the Seven Dials, 

interlude, 1 act 4 1 

128. Female Detective, drama, 3 acts .... 11 4 

101. Fernande, drama, 3 acts 11 10 



131. 



151. 

8. 
180. 



99. Fifth Wheel, comedy, 3 acts 10 

145. First Love, comedy, 1 act 4 

102. Foiled, drama, 4 acts 9 

88. Founded on Facts, farce, 1 act .... 4 

74. Garrick Fever, farce, 1 act 7 

53. Gertrude's Money Box, farce, 1 act. 4 
73. Golden Fetter (Fettered), drama, 3 11 
30. Goose with the Golden Eggs, farce, 

1 act 5 

Go to Putney, farce, 1 act 4 

Happy Pair, comedietta, 1 act 1 

Hard Case (A), farce, 1 act 2 

Henry Dunbar, drama, 4 acts 10 

Henry the Fifth, historical play, 5 38 

19. He's a Lunatic, farce, 1 act 3 

60. Hidden Hand, drama, 4 acts 5 

187. His Own Enemy, farce, 1 act 4 

174. Home, comedy, 3 acts 4 

64. Household Fairy, sketch, 1 act 1 

190. Hunting the Slipper, farce, 1 act 4 

191. High C, comedietta, 1 act 4 

197.. Hunchback (The), play, 5 acts 14 

18. If I Had a Thousand a Year, farce, 

1 act 4 

116. I'm Not Mesilf at All, original Irish 

stew, 1 act 3 

129. In for a Holiday, farce, 1 act 9. 

159. In the Wrong House, farce, 1 act. . . 4 

122. Isabella Orsinj, drama, 4 acts 11 

177. [ Shall Invite the Major, comedy, 1 4 

100. Jack Long, drama, 2 acts 9 

139. Joy is Dangerous, comedy, 2 acts. . . 3 

17. Kind to a Fault, comedy, 2 acts 6 

86. Lady of Lyons, play, 5 acts. 12 

72. Lame Excuse, farce, 1 act 4 



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